Insatiable, The

Rating: 
3
Review by Jeff Swindoll
Published September 26, 2007

A sad sack guy sees a vampire one night and takes a shine to her. So he devises a way to trap and keep her, but he finds that this is one pet that has an appetite that he'll have to work overtime to fill.

Harry Balbo (Sean Patrick Flanery) is a milquetoast, sad sack of a guy. He's picked on at work by a fellow employee, Javier (Jon Huertas), and he's also the super in the building where he lives. A cute girl in the building seems to have the hots for him but he's to shy to do anything about it. One night he's walking home from the corner convenience store when he looks down and alley and sees a female vampire draining a vagrant.

Well, it's love at first sight, never mind that she rips off the guy's head and scratches Harry on the cheek before she jumps onto the nearest building. Harry goes home and does what any red-blooded guy would do when he wants to know about vampires - he fires up the old web browser. He goes to a vampire website and the guy tells him that the reason that the lady vamp scratched him was that she can now track him via his blood scent.

So she'll be coming to find Harry and his head will be next to be torn off, that is unless Harry finds her first and makes her a stake sandwich. With some pointers from his Internet pal, he does track down the bloodsucking beauty but can't carry through with the staking. On a mission to unclog a guy's sink he finds out that the wheelchair bound Strickland (Michael Biehn) is the webmaster of the vampire site and he lives in Harry's building.

Harry sets up a cage in the basement of the building and traps the vampire when she comes for him. Tatiana (Charlotte Ayanna), the vampire, doesn't exactly adjust to captivity and wants Harry to bring her something a little more appetizing than household pets.

I'd have to say that Insatiable is a good idea that's done in by a low budget. The show takes place mostly in nondescript apartment surroundings and the performances are inconsistent. Flanery is a bit too much of a sad sack and wimp. Ayanna starts off rather anemic in my opinion but does have a decent moment or two later. Biehn is the one that's a real waste though. Not because he gives a poor performance but because his character is underused.

I suppose he does get the last line in the film in a commando stance that pays homage to Aliens. I guess this could've been a good movie it had been a bit darker and played more on the irony of having a relationship with something that would eat you (or trying to have one with it).

Insatiable is presented in anamorphic widescreen (1.78:1) and is enhanced for 16x9 televisions. Special features include the film's theatrical trailer and trailers for other ThinkFilm DVDs.

Insatiable didn't quench my thirst in the slightest. In fact, the story seemed like a good one that just wasn't given the proper budget to make a full-blooded film. The cast does what they can but they too fall short of the goal.

Fanged Films

UK, 2007
Vampire Diary
USA, 2004
Vampires: Out for Blood / As Good as Dead

From the Library

As the 20th century evolved, rational man turned to science to explain mythology that had pervaded for thousands of years. How could a man be mistaken for a vampire? How could someone appear to have been the victim of a vampire attack? Science, in time, came back with answers that may surprise you.Anemia
A million fancies strike you when you hear the name: Nosferatu!N O S F E R A T Udoes not die!What do you expect of the first showing of this great work?Aren't you afraid? - Men must die. But legend has it that a vampire, Nosferatu, 'der Untote' (the Undead), lives on men's blood! You want to see a symphony of horror? You may expect more. Be careful. Nosferatu is not just fun, not something to be taken lightly. Once more: beware.- Publicity for Nosferatu in the German magazine Buhne und Film, 1922  

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